recap of yesterday:

FUCK YOU BANANA REPUBLIC FACTORY OUTLET IN CARLSBAD

you can kiss my ass for all eternity….i waited over 2 weeks for a final paycheck of $23…yeah you assholes!

i finally picked 2 classes for school, and surprisingly they actually count towards my majors, SUPER SCORE! 

MY BROTHER GOT A JOB! :D

now on to today:

dad leaves for detroit! 

and trivia tonight? yeahhh buddy!

in general:

i need to learn how to relax, i’ve been too stressed lately and i’m pretty sure that is what has caused this constant headache for the last 2 weeks. its total bullshit but whatever….maybe when i get paid ill get a massage :)

as the time passes and i receive no inclination of my grandmother’s condition, i start to get worried. i just wish there was a way i could speak to her while she is in the hospital because her voice would comfort my nerves. i just want to tell her that she is strong and what ever she decides to do i will stand behind her 100%, and have the peace of mind that she will be ok. 

on a lighter note, finally have classes for next semester…only 2 but hey right now , work is just too important to sacrifice. 

so life, as of recently, hasn’t been rainbows and butterflies. with the situation my grandma has been in these last couple months has really taken a toll on my health, physically, mentally and emotionally. if her time is coming to an end all i can keep thinking is that she can’t leave…i still need her here to help me with life….which is what i kept telling myself when my other grandma passed away just a little under 2 years ago. its hard to stay positive only because i know how death of loved ones affects me, i want to tell myself that she is going to be ok…but realistically it isn’t. i love her with all my heart and i do wish i was at her side able to understand the pain she is going through and be able to comfort her but all i do is sit here selfishly crying about what i’m going to do without her. i want her to know i’m here for her indefinitely, and will always be her granddaughter who will undoubtedly keep praying for a miracle until time takes you away from me. i love you with all my heart grandma…just say the words and i’ll be on the next flight home. 

i’m praying for a positive outcome and for you to be at peace in this rough ocean of pain your suffering in. you are my strength and wisdom and with always be.

i will always be your mandy <3 you grandma and stay strong!

one of the two loves of my life <3

i’m making an effort to actually use this to get me through the toughest and easiest of times…starting today

xyza is one of my best roommates i’ve ever had. i’m so very thankful i have her in my life :) 

Fuck UBOC!!!!! Took all day to get my debit card situated. I hate that bank. And we only drove 350 miles…ughhhh hate this!!!! On another note…ALLNIGHTER!!!! And we avoided killing a snunk and a deer today :) will hopefully be home tomorrow night since we plan to drive straight through the night. I am happy and sad that school is over. I miss all the friends I made already and it’s only been a couple hours!!!!!!! I don’t miss my bio teacher that’s for sure. All in all today was sad and shitty. Can’t wait to get home and start summer!!

Last night was a total beating. I died and can’t believe I am alive right now. My whole body hurts. It feels like I got the shit beat out of me. This conditioning better be worth it because it will be a wasted $25 if I don’t see results

R I P tiki lights :’( we love you and hopefully we can fix you!!!

true thugs!!

not the best quality but it gets the point across…blizzard!!!!!! :( it’s supposed to be spring today